BDSM RTV NEWS!!!!

27 march 2009


Spank me if you love me: An intro to the world of S&M


Source: www.examiner.com Examiner.com - USA


"I may hurt you, but I will not harm you." That's the motto of Lily Fine, a professional dominatrix and S&M workshop instructor. “I will not hit you too hard, take you further than you want to go or give you an infection." Fine may practice these sexual endeavors professionally, but there are many others who make BDSM an integral part of their relationship. Thanks to films like Secretary and Nine and A Half Weeks, the stigma associated with sadomasochistic behavior is slowly starting to shift.


Adult toy stores  have been stocking punishment and bondage accessories for years, and now there are even several dating websites that act as a kind of Match.com for those seeking their S&M soul mate.
The term BDSM describes the sexual activities between consenting partners that contain sadistic and masochistic elements. BDSM is a complex acronym derived from the terms bondage and discipline (B&D, B/D, or BD), dominance and submission (D&S, D/S, or DS), sadism and masochism (S&M, S/M, or SM). BDSM is not a form of sexual abuse - although some BDSM activities may appear to be violent or coercive, these acts are performed with the consent of all partners involved. BDSM relationships and practices are exercised under the philosophy of "safe, sane and consensual" (SSC). Estimation on the overall percentage of BDSM related sexual practices in the general population range from 5 to 25 percent, depending on the scientific objectives. Behaviors such as erotic spanking, tickling, and love-bites that many people think of only as "rough" sex also contain elements of sadomasochism. There are a wide array of fetishes and practices within the BDSM community, including leather, humiliation, hot wax, erotic electrostimulation, crops, and petplay (before you bombard PETA with emails know that there are no actual animals involved).

Basic sadomasochism (S&M), which is practiced most by educated, middle- and upper-middle-class men and women, is not a new phenomenon, and the reasons people engage in this type of sexual behavior are as surprising as they are varied. There are a number of motivations commonly given for why a sadomasochist finds the practice of S&M pleasurable. The answer is largely dependent on the individual; for some, taking on a role of obedience or helplessness offers a kind of therapeutic escape; from the pressures of life, from responsibility, or from guilt. For others, submitting to the power of a dominant, controlling presence may bring about the feelings of security and protection linked with childhood. A sadist, in contrast, may enjoy the feeling of power and authority that comes from assuming the dominant role, or receive pleasure vicariously through the submission of the masochist. Author and psychiatry adviser to the New York Daily News, Dr. Joseph Merlino said in an interview that a sadomasochistic relationship, as long as it is consensual, is not a psychological crisis: “It's a problem only if it is getting that individual into difficulties, if he or she is not happy with it, or it's causing problems in their personal or professional lives. If it's not, I'm not seeing that as a problem. But assuming that it did, what I would wonder about is what is his or her biology that would cause a tendency toward a problem, and dynamically, what were the experiences this individual had that led him or her toward one of the ends of the spectrum.”

Sadomasochism remains a popular topic in erotic literature, with Pauline Reage's novel Story of O (1954), setting an infamous precedent for the genre. The female protagonist is kept in a chateau and sexually educated by a group of men using a wide range of BDSM techniques. Her submission is consensual, and during her emotionally and physically challenging trials O is reminded that she is free to leave at any time. Mainstream author Anne Rice, best known for Interview with the Vampire, penned the sadomasochistic trilogy The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty (1983-85) and Exit to Eden (1985) under the pseudonym of A. N. Roquelaure.

“Hey, I want to spank someone, too!” you proclaim eagerly, thoroughly intrigued. Individuals yearning to experience S&M may want to experiment with some of its milder forms. Tying up your lover or administering some light spankings are good ways to gage your comfort with this realm. Bursting through the door on Valentine’s Day  wearing an executioner’s mask and clutching an anal probe is not the best way to gently introduce your lover to your fantasies. But if you start small and discover your partner is equally enamored with your new playtime activities than you can slowly progress to the “let’s make a trip to the hardware store” stuff. Happy flogging, everyone!