BDSM RTV MEDIA NEWS!!!!


09 september 2009


Fatties Come Top in Best Sex Survey


Source: www.thespoof.com Thespoof - USA


It's official! Fat people enjoy far better sex than fit people. Chubby girls quake with colossal orgasms whilst wobbly blokes get to explode twice as powerfully as any Olympic sportsman in the prime of life.


From now on, if your mission is fantastic sex, the message to boys is forget the six-pack and start chomping the burgers - and for girls - chuck away the diet books and get licking every ice-cream you can lay your hands on.

Sex scientists in Pasadena, California have long suspected that the secret to great sex might be found somewhere within the illusive VZY97 'lack of inhibition' gene. Their hunch was right.

In a new breakthrough, researchers have discovered how to monitor the female orgasm via a nuclear stethoscope which can accurately measure each separate uterine contraction - in the same way the Richter scale measures earthquakes.

As part of a controlled experiment, Laroushka La Mancha a 250lbs dominatrix volunteer, was hydro-electronically brought to orgasm alongside another volunteer, Tammy Villette, a gorgeous 17 year old modern languages student weighing 104lbs.

"It was amazing", remarked laboratory director Dr Jules Essberger. Laroushka's orgasm erupted with the seismic force of Krakatoa and Vesuvius doing a dancehall duet. We're gonna have to get the ceiling fixed."

He then turned to Tammy's results. "Look at the graph", he explained. "Tammy's orgasm had the shaking amplitude of a very small molehill. Poor kid. Unless she puts some weight on she'll never get to know what she's missing".

A secondary phase of the survey produced results that were even more astounding.

"One of the standard characteristics of roly-poly people is they have very little to lose in life", theorised Dr Essberger. "It is also an established fact that they tend to laugh more than slim people".

"Devising a logical experiment to link these two idiosyncrasies was our next challenge. So we invited our volunteer dominatrix to share a very large bed with another volunteer, Big Bill Bradley a 325lb trucker from Detroit", he explained.

"OK", went on Essberger. "There we were. We had one huge man and one massive woman. Both naked. Both in bed. Both short on VZY97 inhibitions - and both with a fantastic sense of humour".

"We took the bed into the middle of the Great Basin Desert - placed it on top of a reinforced concrete plinth and hooked it up to a standard thermonuclear seismograph - before retreating to study our monitors inside the underground bunker." he said.

"I tell you, the sex was incredible. Simply mind blowing. The two of them laughed and laughed and banged away at each other for hour after hour.

Sometimes they fell apart and she had to spend ages finding his penis underneath his vast array of stomachs and guide it back inside her. But again, they simply laughed about it.

They even got through a dozen pizzas and gallons of cream soda - whilst simultaneously enjoying the act of making love".

"Laroushka and Bill both had multiple ejaculations and orgasms", he concluded. "Ranging in force from the equivalent of a standard hand grenade - through to a WW11 blockbuster bomb - onwards to one of those huge bunker bombs the allies used in the Iraq war - and finishing off with a violent explosion - the sort that tears chunks out of the landscape - somewhere on the scale between Nagasaki and Chernobyl".

Dr Essberger sat back, spent and exhausted. "So don't tell me that fatso's don't get the best sex", he sighed.

He is now under voluntary sedation.


comment from Tom Verhoeven:
Good news for me!!!!