BDSM RTV MEDIA NEWS!!!!
08 jan 2010
Between studying and spankingSource:
www.excal.on.ca - Excalibur Online - Canada
“My name’s Laura,” says a girl dressed in black leather, fishnets and knee-high boots. “And I’m not as kinky as I look.”
York may just be kinkier than you think
A minute later, it’s my turn.
“Hi, I’m Nick, and I’m also not as kinky as I look.” The group chuckles: I’m wearing a blue button-up shirt and tie.
Laura and I, as well as about two dozen other York students, are at a Trans Bisexual Lesbian Gay Allies at York (TBLGAY) workshop called “Stepping into the Scene: BDSM 101,” hosted by “sex geek” Andrea Zanin. The workshop, the first of its kind on campus, saw what was likely the largest public gathering of kinky or curious students in York’s history.
BDSM stands for bondage and discipline, domination and submission and sadism and masochism. The workshop explained some BDSM basics and dealt with fetishes, too.
But, while the turnout was good, I wondered what percentage of York kinksters these two dozen represented.
I wanted to know: How many kinksters are there at York?
“A lot more than you think,” says Sarah*, a kinky York student.
‘I know two girls who live down my street who are really into [BDSM] [ . . . ] They’re best friends, but neither of them knows that the other’s into it’
-Sarah*, a kinky York student
Many kinksters, both on and off campus, remain closeted because they are afraid of what might happen to them - professionally, academically or socially - if they came out about their perverted proclivities. This makes it hard to approximate the size of the kinky population on campus.
There’s reason to believe, though, that the kinkster-to-vanilla ratio may be higher on campus than it is in the general population.
“There’s sort of a fairly demonstrated link between highly educated people and kink,” explains Zanin. Workshops like “BDSM 101” are her stock and trade, and she’s hosted more than a few of them on campuses across Canada.
“[That link] may have to do with a whole bunch of things that aren’t about your smarts per se, but I can’t say I’d be surprised in an environment like a large university with pretty interesting programs to find out there’s a really decent percentage of people who are kinky.”
So, more likely than not, York is pretty damn kinky. But if that’s true, where is this kinky community hiding?
The answer: nowhere. It’s not hiding.
You see, there is no real “kinky community” at York. There’s little communication among York kinksters, and even less organized interactivity.
Social pressures tend to keep students from talking about kink, making it difficult for kinksters to network.
“I know two girls who live down my street who are really into [BDSM],” Sarah offers as an example. “They’re best friends, but neither of them knows that the other’s into it.” According to Miss Katrina Razor*, a York alumna and ex-dominatrix, most kinksters network simply by talking to friends, who then introduce them to more friends. It’s not easy to find other kinksters unless you know somebody who’s already in the scene, she says.
Toronto’s BDSM scene is, thankfully, a lot healthier than York’s, and that may be part of the reason why a campus-centred community doesn’t exist. With the city’s plethora of parties,
munches, support groups and dungeons, fetishists have no reason to bring their kink to campus.
There are social networking tools on the net, too, like FetLife, an online kink community - think Facebook, but with whips and chains. FetLife allows kinksters to join fetish-themed groups, plan parties, and post pictures and comments.
You won’t find a York University group on the site, however. And you won’t find a kink club in the York student club directory, either.
With so many kinksters on campus, how is it that there isn’t a BDSM club at York or University of Toronto or any Canadian university?
In fact, I was able to track down only one during my research. McGill University’s Fetish and Kink Enthusiasts (FAKE) group is an anomaly.
“We started last November,” explains FAKE president Kevin Wyllie.
“Basically, because our members saw that there were sex-positive groups on campus, [but] none that specifically addressed fetish and kink.”
Though students were reluctant to join at first, it wasn’t long before FAKE had about 100 names on its listserv. Wyllie says a third of those members are active.
“We run discussion groups, we help with workshops, [ . . . ] but sometimes we’ll put on our own individual workshops, usually run by members of the group itself.”
If the attendance numbers at seminars like “BDSM 101” are at all indicative of York’s BDSM population, a kinky campus club here should be able to draw at least as many members as McGill’s FAKE. But do kinksters at York want a club?
“If I were in a [kinky club] right now, it would totally ruin my career,” says Sarah. She feels that many potential members would shy away from the club out of fear that affiliation could have them socially or professionally ostracized. “Unless [those kinksters] have nothing to lose, it would not benefit them,” she says of joining a group.
The administration at FAKE try to work around this fear by keeping member identities private. “Our member list is kept strictly confidential, so all our emails are sent out with Bcc’s,” says Wyllie. Unless they’ve decided to self-disclose, members have no public affiliation with FAKE.
Some of the other kinksters I spoke to thought the idea of a club might intimidate people but that perhaps some other sort of organization would work.
“It would be nice to have some sort of network,” says Miss Razor, “but more of an educational network, where people could meet each other and [where] safety would be emphasized.”
Most of the York kinksters I interviewed, though, agreed a campusbased BDSM organization would benefit the whole institution.
Wyllie thinks so, too, and he can speak from experience. “I’m from the States, and I know there are organizations in the States like FAKE, and I believe they have helped spread the word and knowledge about fetish and kink,” he says. “I think any campus or university would be benefited by a group like ours.”
But how comfortable are students when it comes to kink? Is York a kink-friendly environment? Well, yes and no.
Most of the student kinksters I spoke to said they believe their peers are open to alternative sexualities, though Miss Razor was able to recall some unpleasant memories.
“On the bus [once], a bunch of students got on and they were making fun of my riding crop,” she says.
“Obviously, people who don’t know much about kink have a lot of stereotypes about it.”
York’s attitude is ambivalent, too, when it comes to kink in the classroom.
“Within my program, people are generally very supportive,” says Claire Dalmyn, a York anthropology graduate student whose work deals with BDSM and Toronto’s leatherdyke scene. “Still, there’s kind of an ‘Eh, she’s kind of a weird kid,’ [feeling],” she says.
Dalmyn presented her paper, “Pervertible Practices: Playing Anthropology in BDSM,” at the Social Anthropology Graduates’ Association’s “Playing the Field” conference in November. She opened her presentation by explaining some of the theory behind her work - while clipping several wooden clothespins to her forearm.
Zanin, who’s been doing research on BDSM with the women’s studies program since September 2009, also found York accommodating. “I came in as a grad student with funding to
do work on leatherdykes, and everyone was really excited about that,” she says of her experience. “My impression is not that York is a school that has a problem with acceptance.”
Not everyone would agree. Seth*, a kinkster and York faculty member, is less than pleased with the administration’s policy when it comes to the subject of BDSM.
“If you look at the literature, there’s not a lot of sympathy towards [kink],” he says. “And it’s not only not talked about, but [also] not accepted.”
He finds students’ response to the topic almost as bad. “The attitude with which students greet the topic is either self-righteous indignation or embarrassed giggles.”
The relationship between kink and York is complicated, and part of that has to do with boundaries.
“Bringing your personal sex life onto campus, [ . . . ] for some people, represents a boundary between the personal and the professional, between the personal and the scholarly that
they don’t want to cross,” says Zanin.
But boundaries can be reformed and rules redefined, and York may be the perfect place to do some of that rewriting. After all, York is diverse, York is progressive and, as you now know, York is kinky.
* Names have been changed to protect privacy
