BDSM RTV MEDIA NEWS!!!!



02 feb 2010



Use imagination, get rough to keep a love life from becoming routine
By: Caitlin Thomas


Source: nevadasagebrush.com  - UNR The Nevada Sagebrush (subscription)  - USA


When I was little I used to dress up as cat woman. I’d run around the playground in a shiny black cat suit and hiss and push boys who dared glance at me. More than a decade later, nothing has changed. Well, except my breasts are a 34C.


My desire in life has always been to rack up every breed of unique experience. Psychologists would label me an extremist, an impulsive individual who finds herself bulletproof. In 21 years of living, I have concluded that I deserve more than the norm, and part of that is getting dirty.

Conventional sex is so…conventional. Don’t you ever just want to strap on black leather boots and make someone your bitch? Clearly, I’m taking cues from the scandalous Betty Page, a legendary pinup who played a pivotal role in the introduction of bondage and pain fetish into the mainstream. She paved the way for all lust hussies who strived to make their men (or women) beg, cry and scream. (She also spent 20 months in a mental institution, but that’s beside the point.)

First and foremost, let’s liberate and illuminate our minds with the definition of sadomasochism, also known as “S&M.” Sadism is the joy of inflicting torture or humiliation on someone. Masochism is the basic pleasure of feeling pain and agony.

Living a dominant or submissive sex life can be intriguing. It’s a rather naughty escape from a lovey-dovey sack session and necessary to avoid a sexual routine. Sure, society doesn’t “get it,” let alone encourage it, but there is something to be said for whipping your partner and screaming in his or her face, “Say my name! Say it!”

Not that I’ve done that or anything.

Sounds pretty damaging, right? Numerous psychological arguments are presented on this theme. One could assume individuals who take on these sex acts had traumatic events in their childhood, thus allowing them to connect with the pain they were once accustomed to. On the flip side, many believe “pain is pleasure.” When you are bitten or choked, your blood flows, endorphins are released and you become very aware. All this can intensify sex.

Both theories are rational. Everyone is different. I have a big imagination and love to use it, especially on men. It makes me laugh to play power games and satisfy my alter ego, Sasha. Sasha is a huge feminist and a mega-bitch. Sometimes, she comes out if I don’t have my morning Starbucks. She’s my inner superhero and loves to screw with people, read manifestos and smoke French cigarettes.

It can be healthy to act on this sexual attitude, but carefully. If you are going to attempt it, allow me to impart some friendly advice: Before hitting the sheets, agree on a safe word. This special word will only be uttered if things are going too far or leading to not-so-fun pain. The safe word will provide comfort and an easy stop. Try using a comical word, such as “banana” or “lampshade.”

It’ll lighten the mood and isn’t as graceless as “no.”

About a month ago, I handcuffed Riley to the bedpost and jumped on top of him. It was both hot and hilarious, mostly because he started crying toward the end. Men are weak. Women are powerful.

Sorry, that was Sasha.

Caitlin Thomas is glad her friend is back to hit the bar, make fun of German boys and quote Taylor Swift songs. Reach her at perspectives@nevadasagebrush.com or formspring.me/catplaysmusic.