BDSM RTV MEDIA NEWS!!!!



03 oct 2010



Thoughts on bondage, BDSM and other family-friendly matters


Source: thesheaf.com  - Thesheaf.com - USA


Whether it’s spanking, smut talk, chains or whips, we all like to experiment and turn our sexual relationships into something even more enjoyable.


Sex is the most intimate of acts between two (or more) people and one’s sexuality should be a seamless extension of your deeper friendship. Personally, I find being able to enjoy a person’s personality, whether through conversations, jokes or actions the biggest of turn-ons.

On top of that, the contrast between who we are in our everyday lives and who we become in the bedroom can be quite arousing. Take, for example, someone who is normally quite mild mannered but tends towards domination in the bedroom. The shock itself can be enough to kick everything into high gear.

Every person on the planet has a set of things in his or her mind that for whatever reason gets him or her going. Be it hair, feet, bondage, clowns, clothes or the lack thereof, it doesn’t matter. We should be free to express with our partner(s) what turns us on and to experiment with it in a safe and comfortable environment.

If your partner suggests something that you aren’t really comfortable with, let him or her know. Next, try suggesting some of your own - and if none match, just go at it like banshees and see what happens. You’d be surprised by what you will do and even more so by what you’ll enjoy in the heat of the moment. Make sure you are not afraid to say no but remember that yes can open up a “hole” new world of pleasure.

On the topic of sexuality, we see the word paraphilia come up time and time again. It is defined as a sexual attraction to anything out of the normal realm of accepted fantasies. My question is, what the hell is the norm? As Alfred Kinsey proposed, there is no such thing as normal sex. Are we not all paraphiliacs to some degree?

We all enjoy a little bit of freak in our lives, something deliciously unexpected to get the blood pumping before anything is even insinuated. Coupled with the attraction of taking control, having someone do to you what they wish can be quite the experience. But here comes the sticky part of the equation for most BDSM-friendly couples. The intent of what we desire has to be pure and innocent, no matter what the desire is. The ability to trust someone so much as to hand over your bodily autonomy should be flattering to the one in control and the one who is controlling must hold respect for that submissiveness as well as for the person they are dominating, so as to not push too far.

This brings us to the need for a safe word, something to say if one person begins to take the session a little too far. I would advise using an inherently peculiar word like “periwinkle,” “mustard” or the blunt “Stop, you beast!” Because these words are only used when something goes too far (which is bound to happen), the safe word should instill a little bit of humour into the situation.

Now I suppose I should mention some nifty ideas I have come across over the years. But I want to start by saying that hardware stores and dollar stores are delightful for finding knick-knacks that will come in handy in the bedroom. They are usually cheaper than at a sex shop and generally just as good if not better, though they may require a little bit of assembly. Your best bets for homemade equipment will be belts and new socks, as they are very versatile in their uses ranging from restraints, binds, whips or blinds. And if you tie a sock around a belt it can be used as a great make shift ball gag! Dog collars, quick burning candles, bandanas and chip clips all make delightfully inconspicuous devices as well.

I don’t want to give any good hiding spots away but for those who need a place to hide some of their trinkets, here are some ideas. There’s the obvious under-the-mattress hiding spot but one could also try a zippered binder for hiding some smaller devices such as leashes, gags, restraints, cuffs or collars. Another place that seems to work well is under the lowest drawer in your chest of drawers. I won’t go any further but those should be a good start for those who did not have anywhere away from prying eyes.

Now go forth and tie, bind and spank your way to a happier sex life!

Seriously, go!