BDSM MEDIA NEWS!!!!
6 april 2011
Be a little kinky!
Source: cosmo.intoday.in - Cosmopolitan - USA
USA- It used to be that a little game of slap and tickle could keep your sex life stoked. But now, cranking up the heat requires pushing the envelope just a wee bit more. “The availability of online porn has normalised kinkier sex,” says sex therapist Ian Kerner, Ph.D., author of Passionista: The Empowered Woman’s Guide to Pleasuring a Man. Most men seem to be anesthetised to mild degrees of naughty, so they crave kicking things up a notch-whether it’s role-playing, by participating in light bondage, or trying other slightly risqué tricks. And it turns out, this is especially true for guys who are 30 and over. “The older a man is, the more experience he’s had,” notes Barbara Keesling, Ph.D., author of Men in Bed. “So it takes more creativity to keep his excitement level high.”
On the other hand, broadening your boundaries need not involve whips or chains (unless you’re into all that kinda stuff!). Any outside-the-box moves work to charge you both up, because novelty increases production of the brain’s feel-good chemicals adrenaline and dopamine. These erotic ideas are just what you need.
Shock His Socks Off
“Turning your guy on to something unexpected boosts adrenaline,” says Keesling. “The element of surprise also causes a rapid heart rate and faster breathing, which intensify the pleasure of sex.”
- Play What Is It? Massage yourself all over with some oil, and blindfold him. Then touch your guy's penis or lips with different body parts (your pinkie, your nipple, your toe, your V zone, and so on).
"He has to guess what he's being touched with," says sex expert Pam Spurr, Ph.D., author of 365 Erotic Secrets for Sensational Sex." The oil makes it more difficult to sense the body part and creates unique sensations.
- 'When he's close to climax during girl-ontop sex and you're arched over him with your breasts in his face, suddenly lean back and widen your legs. Not only will his penis feel a different sensation, but the visual shock of seeing your hottest body part up close and personal will totally thrill him.
- While going down on him, move a little farther south and gently wrap your lips around his testicles, then start to hum. The feeling of vibration is a new and pleasurable treat.
Be a Little Kinky
You can raise the bad-girl bar without flying your freak flag. “Anything that’s somewhat taboo (pretending you’re strangers, for example) makes a guy feel like he’s being naughty, which is very exciting,” says Kerner.
During girl-on-top action, use a tie or scarf to tie his hands over his head, rendering him (happily) helplessly bound.
"When a woman takes over in bed, the guy feels an incredible release of pressure," says Keesling. "There's no performance anxiety. He can just lie back and enjoy the ride, and you can set the pace and depth to your liking."
Tell him to get naked and sit on his hands for 60 seconds.
Then straddle his lap, and slide your V zone against the head of his penis. Don't let him penetrate yet, in fact, don't even let him touch you himself. Tease him with your nipples, your tongue, your finger tips until he tells you he can't take it anymore! The feeling of being in charge will turn you on and make him feel like he's going to explode (in a good way).
Add a jolt of excitement to your repertoire by engaging in role-playing.
Pretend to be a masseuse. Have him lie facedown on the bed naked, with just a sheet covering him from the waist down. Light some scented candles and if possible, fix mirrors on the surrounding walls and ceiling! Undress in another room, knock on the bedroom door, and introduce yourself as his masseuse. Use oil to give him a titillating back and butt massage. After about five minutes, ask him to turn over, and continue the massage on his front. When you get to his package, take it in your hand, and provide the release of a happy ending...or straddle him for some mutually satisfying sex.
Engage in Public Displays of Eroticism
Having sex where you might get busted can be exhilarating. It’s not that you actually want to get caught with your pants down, but the thrill is in the potential of discovery. “Having sex in a forbidden place taps into innate fantasies of exhibitionism and voyeurism,” explains Kerner. Even just taking the bed out of the equation will work. “It forces you to find novel ways to experience sex,” says Taylor.
- If you have a private backyard, take advantage of the warm weather and have some wet-and-wild fun. Both of you should strip down and head out back. Using the garden hose, take turns spraying each other's bods, paying special attention to the genital areas. Then get closer, and have him use the flow of water.varying the pressure.almost as if he were using a multispeed vibrator on you.
- During dinner with friends, fondle him under the table. He'll have to work hard to control himself and not respond to your touches so no one knows what's going on. Keep two things in mind: Firstly, don't grab his package so hard that he bounces yelping, "My balls! My balls!" Secondly, don't push it to the extent where he has no choice but to "let go..." The word's 'fondle'!
- Rev up his energy with a quickie in the car. Clue him in to your naughty desires by gently rubbing the inside of his upper thigh while he's driving. As his excitement escalates, begin caressing him through his pants. When he starts having trouble concentrating on the road, tell him to pull over, find a deserted spot, and park the car. Push the driver's seat as far back as it will go, position yourself on his lap facing away from him, and have sex in the reverse-cowgirl pose. He'll love the full view of your back while you steer him into submission!
Explore Tempting New Territory
Once you and your guy figure out the best-and fastest-ways to get each other off, you tend to rely on those tried-and-true moves. But by always hitting his go-to spots, you could be missing some important untapped terrain. “Exploring new erogenous zones reawakens excitement,” says Keesling.
- When you're giving him oral sex, use your index finger to draw gentle circles around his anus once he's fully aroused. He'll likely be a little worried about how aggressive you're going to get. The anticipation will make his toes curl - not to mention the fact that you're touching a highly sensitive area.
- Fingers are supersensitive yet often overlooked, making them highly receptive to pleasure. While rubbing his penis, put his pinkie finger in your mouth and suck, moving up and down at the same pace as your hand is on his shaft. Then do the same for each consecutive finger. Because these two sensations are synched up, he'll start to imagine that your mouth is on his penis. Once you're finished with all 10 digits, move down and make his fantasy come true.
- The backs of his knees are a hotbed of nerve endings, so kissing and licking him there will turn him on in no time. Have him lie on his stomach, kiss the back of his neck, and slowly work your way down to his knees. Lick the whole area of one knee, then do the same to his other side. You'll drive him insane if you regularly work your tongue up his inner thigh and back down again.
Get Kinda Rough
“Being a little rough releases endorphins,” says Keesling. But take it slow. “You need to know how sensitive your partner is,” warns Kerner. “Experiment by gradually touching him harder and harder until you know how much he can take.”
- Instead of slowly moving onto the couch, hold him by his collar and throw him down. Rip his shirt and tweak his nipples. Once you're in a hot-and-heavy makeout session, tug his hair with one hand so you're pulling his head back a bit. Or bite him gently on his lower lip, his chest, down below. He'll also be turned on by being forced to take such a submissive position.
- During missionary-style, grab on to his buttocks, and give him a light swat. When a guy is turned on, the surprise sting of getting slapped sends a bolt of pleasurable adrenaline through his system. Wrap your legs around him and move your buttocks up and down, in sync with his, so the penetration is deeper.
- Tie his hands behind with the help of a scarf and blindfold him. Now, go down on him slowly. Increase the pace and alongside rub his balls. Once he's rock hard, very gently rub your teeth up and down his shaft for a minute or so. Then turn him on with your tongue again, and alternate between the two types of stimulation. Not knowing when you are going to switch it up will put him on the edge. "Anxiety can be exciting," says Patti Taylor, Ph.D., founder of expandedlovemaking.com. " I t's physiological responses are similar to those caused by arousal."
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Working Out the KinksExploring new sexual terrain can be a little intimidating. Our tips will allay your apprehensions.
Do It at Your Place You’ll probably feel more at ease pushing the envelope in your own home. Add some extra ambience by dimming the lights and putting on seductive music.
Don Different Lingerie Wearing especially sexy underthings while dabbling in uncharted territory can help you feel like you’re trying out a new persona.
Create a Safe Word Before you get it on, come up with a word or phrase that means hold up.
Discuss Your Desires Beforehand Sharing your fantasies with each other prior to the main event prevents any awkward moments and miscommunication. And bear in mind that just talking about what you want to do to each other is erotic.
Take Baby Steps Ease into naughtier play by making small changes-tweak a position or have sex on the kitchen counter instead of the couch.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
