BDSM MEDIA NEWS!!!!
14 april 2011
My own private subspace:
the Good Girl Alba Rose finds bliss in bondage (blog)
Source: blogs.creativeloafing.com - Creativeloafing.com - USA
The pounding industrial music of Fetish Circuit
, gave way to the first strains of Bach’s Prelude in G Major
, in my head. It’s one of my favorite classical pieces and I found comfort in being surrounded by rope and the symphonic sounds of Yo-yo Ma’s cello strings. I was completely at peace and in touch with myself. My own little world of the music, the rope and Swing.
Much like Hate, Swing is a Dom whose mere presence makes me buzz with submissive energy and the need to please. Swing looks like my teenage “professor” fantasies, the leading men of so many erotic stories of control and dominance. In his mid-30s, he has a full head of newly graying hair, reading glasses and an air of pompous authority. Of course it doesn’t hurt that he’s very good with rope.
At Swing’s command, my eyes stayed closed while he snaked rope around my middle and between my legs, tying a complex harness with knots and handles. With my eyes firmly shut, I floated away from the itch of my pasties and the
newbie watching my scene, with rapt attention. I came to my happy place. It’s a place of focus and classical music.
Subspace.
Subspace is different for every bottom and every scene. It makes it almost impossible to describe and even harder to understand.
Some submissives describe subspace as the ultimate feeling of connection between them and their Dominants. For some, it’s the sensation of existing in a vacuum; the feeling of nothingness. A friend described it to me as the best daydream she’s never had by herself.
I imagine subspace to be a small taste of nirvana. It’s when I am most in touch with myself. It’s the part of my existence where I can simply be. It’s a place without pressure or requirements. To be myself is enough.
With my arms wrapped around the intersection of a St. Andrews Cross and my head hanging between the outstretched arms of the cross I found subspace the first time without bondage. The first notes of the
Brandenburg Concertos No. 4 Allegro, surprised me, but I relaxed into the music, losing track of the scenes around me into a place with just Hate.
Hate had brought heavier toys than usual, but I relished the chance to show him how good I could be. My breathing changed to pace with the music in my head. The flogger attacking my back felt heavy and rough, but not violent. Each strike of the flogger was filled with pride and contentment.
The music only confirmed for me that I was in subspace. I had never been in so deep before, but I would never want to have been anywhere else. I didn’t notice the mascara running down my cheeks. I didn’t notice the screams of painful pleasure and pleasant pain around me. It was just Hate. All of my focus and energy, everything I was in that moment, belonged to him and him alone.
Every time I find subspace-my little world filled with classical music and the Sir of the moment-I’m reminded of what makes me enjoy submission. To be able to give all of my energy and focus to one person, even for just a few moments, lets me stop thinking and just feel.
I can feel that Hate is proud of how far I’ve come as a member of the kink community. I can feel that Swing is pleased with his work and even more pleased I’m showing it off. I can feel safe and vulnerable at the same time. I can let the feelings overtake me and sort them out later.
The most important lesson I’ve learned about subspace is not to be afraid of losing track of the world around me. It will still be there when I come back.
