BDSM MEDIA NEWS!!!!
13 june 2011
Queen of S&M talks on eve of sex trade appeal
Source: www.thestar.com - The Star - Canada
CANADA - TORONTO - Terri-Jean Bedford is in pain.
Which, as she notes in her soon to be self-published memoir, is ironic, since she’s made a living and a name for herself by inflicting pain on others, one lash at a time.
At 51, Canada’s most famous dominatrix is in poor health and looking inward at a life that has included physical abuse, drug addiction and prostitution - and forward, to one more court challenge.
It’s one being watched by everyone from the escorts of St. John’s to the purveyors of pain in Vancouver dungeons.
On Monday, Ontario’s Court of Appeal will hear a joint federal and provincial challenge of a gutsy lower court decision that found provisions of Canada’s sex trade
laws to be unconstitutional .
The court will hear a joint provincial and federal appeal of last September’s ruling by Ontario Superior Court Justice Susan Himel that struck down three of Ontario’s prostitution laws.
In the post-Robert Pickton age, amid the horror show of systemic neglect of sex workers, the lower court found that the law makes it unsafe for women to engage in the world’s oldest profession.
That decision, which decriminalized maintaining a brothel, communicating for the purposes of prostitution and living on its avails, did not come into effect because of the pending appeal.
Bedford, who may beat her clients ruby red but does not have sex with them, is one of three women - represented by lawyer Alan Young - who are the public face of the lower court ruling. Come Monday, the grandmother of one will be sitting at Toronto’s Osgoode Hall, where a three-judge panel will hear what is expected to be five days of arguments.
Should the Court of Appeal agree with Justice Susan Himel’s decision, sex workers will be able to solicit customers on the street, conduct business in their homes or brothels, and hire security and accountants without risking criminal charges.
Bedford’s memoir, Dominatrix on Trial: Bedford vs. Canada, is to be published electronically, the details of which are still being worked out.
With help from a group of nameless supporters she calls The Dozen - nine men, three women (five were clients) - Bedford, who called herself Madame de Sade, has fought prostitution laws since the 1994 police raid on her “Bondage Bungalow” in Thornhill, which made her famous. She was convicted of keeping a common bawdy house in 1998.
Now retired and dealing with hepatitis C, fibromyalgia and back problems, Bedford lives in an apartment in the Annex and, when needed, relies on supporters for help.
She was born in Collingwood to a poor, mixed-race family and was removed from home by authorities at a young age.
The book details a heartbreaking childhood, adventures in sexuality and a slide into drugs and risky prostitution. Also detailed are her legal battles. This lady knows a lot of lawyers.
Bedford also writes of having to give up her daughter, now 31, at a young age, and how they were reunited and even worked together.
Most titillating is a glimpse into her later life in the dungeon and a sampling of curious clientele (including an unnamed politician).
Bedford sat down with the Star in the offices of her lawyer, Sender Herschorn, to discuss her memoir.
Dressed in a black skirt and jacket, a white blouse, stilettos and her wig of choice - long, brown and curly - Bedford was funny, smart and firm when she felt that was warranted.
The interview has been edited for length.
Let’s talk about pain. You’ve been in pain. What’s that been like?
Well, you have to learn to make pain your friend. You have to learn to embrace it and work through it and overcome it. There is no suffering, only the overcoming of it. That’s what Helen Keller said and that’s been my mantra from the day I read it.
From reading the memoir, you’re thinking about death.
Yes, well, death is inevitable for all of us, but I’ve been through quite a bit and my lifestyle has finally caught up to me (she believes the hep C may have come from sharing needles). My spirit is more than willing to keep pushing and pursuing my interests, but I have a lot of physical drawbacks. But I won’t let that stop me. If I have to be put in a wheelchair and carted to court, I’ll go (laughs). The brain’s working very well.
How would you like to be remembered?As a fighter. As a champion for women’s rights. A dominatrix and an authority figure, not a prostitute. I’d like to be remembered as a force to be reckoned with.
Why write a book?It would be a travesty not to. This story is so important. It’s about overcoming a lot of personal adversity - everything from abject poverty, uncaring domineering mother, physical abuse, sexual abuse, the group home system in Canada - just trying to make ends meet as a troubled teenager. It’s about tenacity, it’s about survival. My life has turned me into one very strong, powerful woman.
Who would play you in the movie?I hadn’t thought about that. Me! Nobody could do it better. Let me see, as a young me, I would think Halle Berry, as a middle-aged me, I would think Queen Latifah, and as a grandma, Oprah. I can relate to Oprah in every way.
You were busted in York Region in 1994 but you didn’t have any problems operating as a dominatrix in Toronto.
Toronto’s great. I just love the city. It’s the small little places that don’t understand, but you know what they say, ignorance breeds contempt. So, if you hate something it means you are ignorant to it. But Toronto’s very open-minded, it’s on the fringe, it’s a city that believes in self-expression and brotherly love.
Tell me about The Dozen.
They’re all professionals. They’re all law-abiding, taxpaying citizens. What they really are to me are superheroes. The case wouldn’t be here without them. They are anonymous and wish it to remain that way, but believe me, there is no way I could have done this on my own. They are the 12 disciples of justice to me, and I would wash and kiss their feet every day. I owe them huge sums of money, which I’ll never be able to repay. Since 1994, they’ve come out of the woodwork. One said, “Oh, she needs a job? I’ll give her one.” Another, “She needs a house? I’ll give her one.” “She needs a cheque? I’ll give her one.” “She needs a fundraiser? I know some friends that will come.”
In this court challenge, you also have company, (sex worker advocate) Valerie Scott and (sex worker) Amy Lebovitch, who does not want to be visually identified.
I’m indebted to them for their heroic efforts. Amy is just a shy beautiful little angel. Nice Jewish girl. She’s got an education. But she’s not going to come out. Oy vey! Her mother would just cry. There’s a lot of Amy Lebovitches in this world but it was a big step just to put down here name on the challenge. And Valerie, these women are angels. A lot of people don’t understand that these women are mothers, grandmothers, sisters, aunts. They’re loved and adored by people, and for the government to say we have no right to protect these women, it’s like saying, “These women can lay down and die for all I care.” I’m not going to get into that. You’re going to make me cry. You’ll be able to say, “I made Madame de Sade cry.”
It’s interesting that some of the clients are war vets. What do you give these men, in terms of therapy?A non-judgmental environment to act out some of their fantasies. I give them an outlet to heal, too. What I do is not sex. You can get sex anywhere. A lot of psychotherapists and psychiatrists shy away from dealing with people who have these odd proclivities. They want to get to the bottom of it the root of the problem. And it doesn’t cure them. If you can get the kink out, if you’ve got a place to get the kink out, just like the gym, then you feel better. So, I help people feel better. I restore their confidence and restore their faith in themselves. I like to be known as a paratherapist who deals with unusual behaviour. S & M is just one paraphilia. There’s 750 variations of paraphilia. Some people have fascinations for sculptures. Some want to be flogged. Somebody who has deep religious values will come see a dominatrix because they don’t think prayer is doing it. They want to feel pain until there are in tears because tears are a true sign of repentance to them. And I, of course, apply that theory to everyone (laughs).
How are things with your daughter (she, too, has worked as a dominatrix) and grandson?Great. My grandson’s the apple of my eye. He keeps me alive. I never thought I’d live to see him. He’s into martial arts. He’s the karate kid. He’s 8. I owe my daughter so much. I owe her an education. She wants to be a midwife. She’s been put through so much. She’s 31. I’m hoping that this book helps to rebuild their lives and their self-esteem. We live on a thread and a shoestring, for the most part.
You’ve been painting landscapes.I had three rounds of chemotherapy (for the hepatitis) and I was just beside myself. I couldn’t do anything. So, I said, I’m going to paint.
You were a prostitute before you became a dominatrix. Would you encourage anyone else to be a prostitute?If the laws change, yes. Otherwise, I wouldn’t go near it with the laws the way they are. It’s a death sentence if you do drugs; if you make bad decisions, you’re going to die. Women have to be protected, in many ways. They have to have better access to being tested for sexually transmitted diseases. I can’t tell you how many people I probably gave VD to as a prostitute. And it’s a shame. I regret that I may have hurt people that way. I regret that I didn’t have mandatory checkups. I regret I didn’t have a clean place to wash up. Would I want my daughter to do this? If the laws changed, I wouldn’t mind. I’d rather her be a dominatrix.
What else should I have asked you?Well, the book is self-published. It’s because I’m a control freak.
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