BDSM MEDIA NEWS!!!!
01 december 2011
Black Eyed Peas Have Now Sampled Every Song Ever Written
Source: www.hecklerspray.com - Hecklerspray.com - USA
USA - The Black Eyed Peas announcement of their hiatus was one of the most beautiful sounds ever to hit the human ear. Scientists have recently revealed that the announcement overtook such sounds as Verdi’s La Traviata and Margaret Thatcher’s resignation speech as one of the most delightful sounds ever uttered.
That was until they decided they would eventually come back.
As if it wasn’t bad enough that the multi-million selling idiot’s lantern known as the Black Eyed Peas were going to go and work on their own projects (which would presumably mean Fergie is working on yet another Golden Shower fetish video), frontfool William or Will.I.Am as wankily insists on being called told Ellen DeGeneres that they would be back in good time.
While we all hope that “in good time” means when Hell freezes over and the spectres of death stalk the earth, we imagine it will probably be more like a couple of years. That means that Summer 2013 will see every single sports wrap, advert, TV talent show and blithering idiot using the latest heavily sampled BEP tune as their “anfem”. Can this be allowed?
It doesn’t matter. We don’t have any control over it.
Of course, many possible explanations for the Peas’ hiatus have been touted with many pundits suggesting that “the other two” are going to use the time to convince people that they actually offer something to the group and Will.I.Am will spend most of the time trying to convince the world that he’s never ridden rough-shod over Cheryl Cole.
However, hecklerspray can exclusively reveal that we know why they’ve taken a hiatus.
As everyone knows, the Black Eyed Peas have now sampled every single song ever written by human hands, leaving only ELO’s catalogue (of course written by renowned android Roy Wood) untouched. The only reason the Black Eyed Peas would go on hiatus is blatantly obvious. There is no more music for them to ruin.
By waiting a couple of years, more songs will have been made and thus they will have some material to make a couple of hideous albums and make another pile of cash before disappearing back into the off-key, auto-tuned ether. Are the Black Eyed Peas a self-fulfilling prophecy? It’s possible.
Lucky us.
