BDSM MEDIA NEWS!!!!
14 march 2012
My Phone Sex Secrets - Dial-a-Dolly Delivers Dosh to Dominatrix
Source: tvpixie.com. - TV Pixie - USA
USA - When the editor asked me to write about my phone sex secrets, I wondered how he knew about them. How had he got access to my mobile bill? Then he explained that My Phone Sex Secrets was in fact a new one-off Channel Four documentary and I breathed a sigh of relief. And instantly knew what weak joke I'd use to open the review of it with.
Channel Four have lamely tried to justify this peek into the dirty world of phone sex lines by claiming that it's a look into the depths that people will go for money in the current climate. We were told how over one million UK women are unemployed at the moment and that everyone's feeling the impact of the recession, 'especially women' (for some unspecified reason). Some of these ladies are having to take the drastic measure of talking male callers off over the phone to pay the bills, apparently. And that's the reason they made this documentary. Nothing to do with how rude and daft it all is, of course. Nope.
So the money factor was the rather patchy framing device for what was essentially the stories of three women whose job titles could most politely be 'Freelance Customer Service Telephone Executives', or more accurately, 'Mucky Call Tarts'. Women whose 'secret' phone sex was about to become slightly less secret...
Dominatrix Marnie Diamond is a 19 year-old student from Leeds who nonchalantly answers call from her clients with phrases like “are you wearing a nappy?” and “I want you to woof like a dog!” She showed us a few tips of the trade such as how to simulate the sound of bondage chains (jangling a dress necklace), nipple clamps (snapping a pair of braces) and even a stream of urine (running a tap). Ultimately it was all 'to get her through uni', but that didn't ring particularly true. Marnie just seemed to enjoy the attention and alternative lifestyle. By the end of the show, her phone sex career had, er, reached a climax. She decided to go into the much more sanitised and respectable career of photographing glamour models and prostitutes instead.
56 year-old former MOD worker Jenny may well have created 2012's first great TV catchphrase when she shrieked, “Thass 'im spunked!” at the end of one of her calls. She was a real pro (that's short for 'professional', by the way), having been in the industry for over a decade. She'd apparently created 'a dream home' with her saucy chit-chat earnings (it was a very, very normal home).
And finally Rosa - a new recruit who's entering the filthy world of aural sex for the first time. The grade A mathematics student is in her first year at university, so she's short of cash. Just like every other uni student in the country.
Theirs must be a pretty dwindling demographic though, mustn't it? Sexless men of a certain age that don't have broadband. So even if the kind of money mentioned, up to £500 a day, can be earned - surely it can't be for that long. The ladies best make the most of it while they can.
Is My Phone Sex Secrets funny? Sure. Who could fail but find a crashing orchestral score swell in time to the sound of a working class Northern man's over-the-phone orgasm, funny?
Is it marginally exploitative of potentially damaged individuals? Perhaps. But on a channel responsible for My Big Fat Gypsy Weddings and Embarrassing Bodies, that's almost a moot point.
Is it likely to turn into a full series soon a la MBFGW? Almost certainly.
Now, where's my mobile...?
