BDSM MEDIA NEWS!!!!
September 16, 2012
Domming for Dummies
Source: Nowtoronto.com. - Nowtoronto.com - Canada
CANADA - TORONTO -Dear Sasha,
I’m not the most experienced woman, but recently I’ve had a few encounters that suggest I could be good at, and enjoy, being a dominatrix. I’m interested in pursuing this as work.
How can I learn the tricks of the trade? Are there possibilities for apprenticeship? Anywhere I can go to learn about practising as a dominatrix? I’m aware of the organization Stella, but not much beyond that.
Duly Diligent
Dear Duly,
Good for you, girl. Get out there and make some goddamn money.
Go on boards like
MERB,
TERB,
the Red Zone,
Eros, and
Back Page, and peruse the dominatrix ads, some of which will lead you to personal websites. Check out
Patricia Marsh,’s website to see how one of North America’s best represents her business.
Note the various services women offer and look for services and presentation that speak to you. Send a polite, thoughtful email to these women and ask how much they charge for apprenticeship, if they do at all. Ask those who have dungeons if they would permit you to study their space and equipment in exchange for money or service. Don’t be insulted or surprised if many don’t get back to you at all - these are busy women juggling lots of different commitments. Be prepared to offer references so that they can confirm your identity.
Sex worker organizations like
Maggie’s occasionally offer workshops, and resources that are BDSM-based. These events are promoted for sex workers only, though, so if you’re just rubbernecking for now and not making any firm commitments, you may want to sit them out.
Carlyle Jansen from Good For Her offered these reading selections from the store’s bookshelf:
"For how-to, SM 101 or Screw The Roses, Send Me The Thorns are comprehensive books to ensure emotional and physical safety. The Art Of Sensual Female Dominance is a how-to book from a female dominant perspective. Either of these is essential as a reference book.
"The Ultimate Guide To Kink is also a great how-to book. It includes more info also on sexual techniques like fisting and anal play with kink, as well as blending the spiritual with your kink.
"The New Topping Book, also really good, includes more information on the psychological rather than physical how-to. The psychological is equally important."
Looking at professional dominatrix websites may give you the impression that this is a costly and time-consuming venture - and it certainly can be. But I was having a conversation just last week with a dominatrix about starting out, and she made the same point as Jansen:
"Remember that the psychic space you create is just as powerful as the physical. I did elaborate BDSM in hotel rooms for over a decade, dragging a heavy suitcase that should have been on wheels. I value the learning I got from working that way."
Keep your eye out for fetish parties around town and attend them. There you will meet amateurs and professionals and have a chance to bend some ears and asses. You may also try practising your craft, making sure that your quarry is aware of your status. Always, always, always, in BDSM environments, ask first.
Here is something that may pique your interest:
Morpheous’s Bondage Extravaganza during Nuit Blanche. Check out
mbe2012.com. Morpheous’s book How To Be Kinkier: More Adventures In Adult Playtime (available through amazon.com) is a great guide. My copy has mysteriously disappeared from my apartment. Damn kinky cat sitters.
For a personal history and legal documentation, nothing beats Dominatrix On Trial by
Terri-Jean Bedford .
See large photo on:
www.nowtoronto.com.
