BDSM MEDIA NEWS!!!!
May 27, 2014
Talk to me about (BDSM) sex, rabbi
Source: Montrealgazette.com. - Montreal Gazette - Canada
CANADA - MONTREAL - Who knew rabbis could have so many interesting things to say about sex?
In The Sacred Encounter: Jewish Perspectives on Sexuality, 60 contributors, most of them rabbis, write frankly about how Judaism can help us better understand issues ranging from adultery and infertility to online pornography and bondage.
The essays, an initiative of the Reform Rabbis of North America, were collected and edited by Lisa J. Grushcow, rabbi at Westmount’s Temple Emanu-El-Beth Sholom. Grushcow began working on the project in 2010. The Reform Rabbis of North America picked her for the job because of her academic background - she is a former Rhodes Scholar - and also because Grushcow, who is openly gay, is an outpsoken advocate for gay Jews.
Grushcow, who was interviewed in her office at Temple Emanu-El, acknowledges that at nearly 800 pages, The Sacred Encounter is unlikely to be read from cover-to-cover. “It’s meant to be dipped into depending on people’s interests and where they are in their lives,” she said.
Some of the essays are meant for readers who are well versed in the Hebrew Bible and rabbinic literature. Others are directed at a more general audience. An entire section is devoted to the issue of sex education in a religious context. And because Grushcow believes that sexuality involves everyone at all stages of life, the collection even includes essays about seniors and sex.
Grushcow has two essays in the collection - one about jealousy, another about the question of appropriate dress for synagogue. Leigh Lerner, rabbi emeritus at Temple Emanu-El, writes about sex slavery in biblical times, as well as in the comtemporary world.
Other eye-opening essays in the collection include Virginia lawyer Lee Walzer’s piece about being gay in Israel, and former rabbi Daniel A. Lehrman’s reflection on the connection between bondage and spirituality. Lehrman finds parallels between the act of submission in BDSM (bondage, dominance, sadism and masochism) and the submission that occurs in the religious experience.
Grushcow describes Judaism as a “sex-positive” religion. “Sexuality is embraced as part of our lives and our relationships, traditionally within marriage, but not solely for procreation. It’s not seen as inherently sinful or dirty or problematic,” she said.
From a young age, Grushcow, who was raised in Toronto as a Conservative Jew, wanted to become a rabbi. But when, in her twenties, she came out as a lesbian, the Conservative movement in Judaism was not ordaining gays and lesbians. “I felt distanced from the Conservative movement, but coming out was a spiritual experience for me. I was in love. I felt a sense of God’s presence. I felt even more called to becoming a rabbi when it would have been easier to become anything else in the world,” she said.
As part of her work at Temple Emanu-El, Grushcow counsels members of her congregation. “Many people have issues around sexuality. I can offer a compassionate ear and some of the insights that come from Judaism,” said Grushcow, who sometimes refers congregants to psychologists or sex therapists.
Over the years, Grushcow has become something of an expert on what it means to be Jewish and gay. She has had phone calls and emails from people as far away as France and Israel. “They say, ‘I’m gay and I’m struggling with whether there is a place for me in Judaism,’ or I hear from Jewish parents whose kids are gay,” said Grushcow.
Though Grushcow is reluctant to say that certain religions have a negative attitude to sexuality, she concedes that, “All too often, religious voices have been harmful in people’s lives in terms of their sexuality.”
Grushcow says she has learned a lot from editing the collection. “I’ve learned how wide the variety of human experience is and that we must not pre-judge, must not assume there is anything outside the religious or human experience,” she said.
To celebrate the book’s launch, Grushcow organized a panel discussion at Temple Emanu-El in early May. Among those who took part was Donald Boisvert, a professor at Concordia University’s Department of Religion, and priest at Christ Church Cathedral. Boisvert, who was reached by telephone, said he admires the book’s broad scope, and more generally, Judaism’s approach to sexuality in all its forms. “Judaism has a unique celebratory perspective to sexuality,” Boisvert said.
The Anglican priest and gay rabbi agree that religion can support us, throughout life, as we attempt to understand and explore our sexuality. “Just like we’re meant to bring our best values to every other part of our life, we should bring them to our sexuality as well. When people think that religion is only the voice that says ‘No’ to sexuality, we miss out on insights and values our tradition has to offer,” Grushcow said.
The Sacred Encounter: Jewish Perspectives on Sexuality.
Edited by Rabbi Lisa J. Grushcow.
Central Conference of American Rabbis, 765 pages, $28See larger photo:
www.montrealgazette.com.
